Hotter than Hell
by TakeMeOrLeaveMe2010
Summary: Ensemble fic. The friends find interesting ways to battle the horrible, NYC heat. -oneshot- Please R&R!


Jude Feeney pushed long, sweaty bangs out of his face, and again tried to sketch

**For the purpose of this fic, pretend there is a lake/pond/body of water at Tompkins Square Park.**

**Yes, I know there is not one, but bear with me, if you don't mind…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**--**

Jude Feeney pushed long, sweaty bangs out of his face, and again tried to sketch. But for the fourth time, his charcoal was slippery between his fingers and he ended up drawing a horribly crooked line. He gave a grunt of frustration, and let his head drop to his sketchbook. When he finally lifted it again, a large, forehead shaped sweat mark blemished the drawing, to which he only became more frustrated.

He was grateful for his place in New York; he really was. Not only had he acquired many new friends and a girlfriend, but it had everything Max had promised. Great music, great dope…

"Orgies…" he mumbled with a bit of grin.

But it was the little flaws that drove him mad. The long, winding staircase up nine floors just to get to the apartment knocked the wind out of him every time. Not having to rely on his friends to decide whether he looked decent or not due to their lack of mirrors would be nice. First and foremost, though, it was the sporadic heating and cooling system.

Sadie had warned them before that heat went on at the beginning of December and turned off at the end of February, and that the ancient air conditioning system normally worked for two weeks out of the entire summer. Being a working class boy in Liverpool, he had merely shrugged. He was used to being a bit chilly in the winter and not having the luxury of cool air in the summer. However, Liverpool was moderately temperate year round. New York City seemed to be either deathly frigid or ungodly scorching.

Today happened to be one of those ungodly scorching days, and of course, the air conditioning was not working. Sadie had equipped the apartment with multiple fans; Jude had three or four in his studio/bedroom and god knows how many were in the living room. But they gave little comfort.

He sighed, figuring there was no point starting another drawing that would be ruined, and walked into the living room. Max, shirtless and pants rolled up to his knees, lay sprawled out on the couch with his sister sitting at the end, head in her hand and golden locks covering her face. Prudence looked like she had been eaten by the armchair, slumped deep into the cushions and limber legs sticking out in odd directions. The good ten or twenty fans that were buzzing relentlessly created an odd din.

Max gave a pathetic moan and rolled over on his side, pushing his equally drenched, shaggy hair out of his face.

"It is so _fucking_ hot…" he announced to no one in particular.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Prudence grumbled from within the chair.

"Shut up." He halfheartedly chucked a pillow in her direction, but missed her by a long shot. Jude walked over to his girlfriend in concern, as she had yet to speak or move since he came into the room. He ran a hand through her hair to see her face. It appeared she had been sleeping, but the moment his hand lightly brushed across her face, her soft, azure eyes fluttered open. Though her face was flustered red and he could feel the heat radiating off her body, she smiled warmly at him.

"You sick, luv?" he asked uneasily. She shook her head.

"No, I don't think so…just the heat." Suddenly, she glanced at him quizzically. Then her eyes sparkled in recognition and she suppressed the urge to giggle.

"What is it?"

"You…you have charcoal smudges all over your face, that's all," she responded, smirking just little. He wiped his hand over his cheek, and groaned as sure enough, his palm was streaked with black.

"I'll go clean up," he mumbled before starting to head off towards the bathroom. He was stopped though, as Max yawned and stretched, then looked up at his best friend.

"I appreciate your efforts to make yourself more attractive, Judey, but I'm afraid the grungy artist look just ain't going for you," he said, beaming at him wickedly.

"Shut it," he managed to growl before disappearing into the bathroom. He returned seconds later, draping the cool washcloth over his face and leaving it there. Now he was grateful for ruining that painting. He couldn't believe he didn't think of this idea before. It felt wonderful.

However, the few moments of cool bliss were cruelly snatched from him with one swipe of Max's hand. He followed Jude's suit; giving a sigh of relief as the wet fabric momentarily cooled his burning face.

Jude attempted to steal it back from him, but every time Max was too quick for him, thus giving him another reason to hate the United States Army for giving him abnormally fast reflexes. However, as he glanced down at his friend's bare stomach, a brilliant idea crossed his mind.

Naturally, the moment Jude's finger found its way in between Max's ribs, he doubled over and off came the washcloth. He picked it up, flew over to the couch, picked up Lucy, and sat her on his lap as a shield. Max scowled at them for a moment, but got a brilliant idea of his own.

He began to tickle her, causing her to squirm violently and emit peals of laughter.

"Stop! Stop!" she pleaded, but it was to no avail. His plan succeeded and she slipped off of Jude, falling to the floor with a sickening thud. She hissed in pain, rubbing her tailbone and squeezing her eyes shut.

Max stopped mid-lunge for Jude and bent down to her level. "Are you alright?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

In response, she gave a hearty kick to his ankles, sending him toppling to the ground in a similar fashion. He lay face down, groaning painfully.

"Karma, my dear brother. Karma," Lucy said with a smirk.

"Shut _up_," he grumbled into the floor.

Jude sighed as he fell deeper into the couch cushions. "This is ridiculous. We'll all be knocked out by the time Sadie gets home. And we can't use all the bloody washcloths…"

"Take cold showers?" Prudence offered up helpfully.

"They've got restrictions on water use," Lucy said.

Max pushed himself up and sat with his back against the couch and his legs crossed. He bit his lip thoughtfully. His sister was the first to notice his attentive state.

"What is it, Max?" she inquired cautiously as she could practically hear the wheels spinning in that twisted head of his. A grin began to creep onto his face.

"We may not be able to take cold showers…but there are such things as lakes…" he trailed off, leaving the rest of the thought for them to figure out themselves.

"Tompkins," Prudence said, grinning ear to ear and finally coming out from within the depths of the arm chair. Despite how wonderful it sounded, Lucy began to shake her head.

"Max, we'll be arrested and have to pay a ticket. For what? Not being able to stand a little heat?"

He paid no mind, already slipping on a pair of shoes and making his way towards the door. He briefly turned back to his friends.

"I'm going. You three can stay here and burn alive."

Before she could protest any further he was out the door. Prudence got up from the chair and began to slide her flats over her feet.

"I'm in," she said before disappearing out the door. Lucy exchanged a mildly exasperated glance with Jude.

"Sorry…I just don't feel like spending the afternoon in an even warmer police station," she muttered before plopping heavily back on the couch. Jude nodded, but looked wistfully at the door. She noticed this, but refused to be moved by it.

He sighed, trying to think up ways to loosen up his sensible girlfriend for at least the afternoon. The only way, though it pained him to do so, seemed to be to make her feel bad about being the ones left out in the fun. And so he began his pity plight.

He groaned slightly and dropped his head to her shoulder. "We'll talk to Sadie about getting some more fans in here."

"Mm-hmm."

He sighed. "Bet your brother's already in that bloody pond…splashing around like some childlike git…Pru, too."

She didn't respond. He looked up at her with wide, pitiful brown eyes.

"Can't wait to hear the stories when they come back…bet they had fun, even if they did look stupid while doing it…"

"Oh, _fine_! Let's go!" she said huffily, standing up instantly and causing Jude to fall to the couch. He wasn't at all perturbed and jumped up, wrapping his arms around her waist and dipping her for a deep kiss.

When he pulled her back up, he beamed at her lovingly. "Thanks, luv." She rolled her eyes.

"You owe me one," she replied as she put on her shoes and handed Jude's to him. Once they got out of the tenant building, they ran, hand in hand, down to Tompkins.

Sure enough, once they made their way through the weaving roads of the park and came to the small lake, Max was floating in it belly up, eyes shut and a satisfied smile on his face. Prudence was happily splashing about under the little fountain in the middle. She waved at the young couple when she noticed their presence.

Jude looked at his peaceful friend, and grinned deviously. Signaling to Lucy and Pru by pressing a finger to his lips, he slipped off his shoes and shirt and began to glide silently in the water. Once he got within a few feet of unsuspecting Max, he pounced on him, dragging him underneath the water with him.

When they surfaced, Lucy was also in the water and laughing hysterically, as was Prudence and Jude. Max sputtered, shaking his shaggy head of hair and glaring at his best friend.

"You limey _bastard_," he growled, giving him a hard shove.

"Sorry, mate…wish you could've seen your face, though!…what did it look like, Luce?"

Lucy widened her striking blue eyes and contorted her features into one of fearful surprise in a glorious imitation of her brother. He scowled as they continued to howl with laughter.

"I'll kick all of your asses, I swear to God." He was grinning nonetheless. His sister waded out to him.

"Oh yeah? Not if you can't catch me." She arced and dived into the water, blonde hair flowing out behind her. He followed right behind her, the two occasionally popping up and tackling each other back underneath the surface. Jude shook his head and swam over to Prudence, enjoying the waterfall cascading down on his sweaty head.

Unfortunately, the fun couldn't last forever. A burly, strapping policeman noticed them as he walked by.

"Hey! You four! You're defacing city property! Out NOW," he demanded firmly.

"Come on, man. It's 104 fucking degrees…show some love," Max said, still swimming about.

"I don't give a shit if its 200 degrees. If you don't come out now, I'm going to have to arrest you."

"Give me a good reason to come out, and I will."

"…I said I'm going to arrest all four of you."

Max looked upwards, pretending to be considering this notion. Then he shrugged. "Still not good enough. At least not for me. So, I'll be staying here."

The policeman said something into his walkie-talkie and began to come into the water. While Lucy, Jude, and Prudence exchanged bemused looks, Max flopped onto his back into his initial floating position. The rest of them couldn't decide whether to stay there or leave.

Their decision was made for them when three other police officers appeared from within the park, nightsticks in hands and everything.

"Oh, _shit_," Max mumbled before running awkwardly through the water as fast as he could, the other three right behind him. They found their shoes could be easily replaced, and once out of the water, broke into a frantic run. The police officers were right on their tail.

The four of them would've been able to run faster had Max's pants not continuously fallen well below his waistline and him desperately trying to pull them up along the way.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" he muttered, jamming his thumbs into his belt loops and running at the same. As the wet fabric stuck to his skin and refused to stay up, he gave small, strange whimpers that sent everyone into hysterics.

Finally, they ran through the busiest street in the East Village, and the police lost them through the vibrant fabrics and quickly moving people. However, the friends did not stopping running until they reached their apartment, collapsing in an exhausted heap on the couch.

Sadie appeared from the kitchen, glancing at all of them in bewilderment as she took a drag from her cigarette.

"Where the hell have you four been?"

The four of them chuckled.

"Out…" Jude replied nonchalantly. Noticing their still dripping wet bodies, she groaned.

"Get up for a moment," she said, shooing them off her couch. Just as she suspected, a large water mark stained the couch. After sighing a little, she shrugged somewhat indifferently.

"That's couch's a piece of shit anyway…" she muttered, sauntering back into the kitchen. Max immediately resumed his previous position on the couch and folded his legs underneath him, while Prudence plopped into her favorite chair and Lucy and Jude stood over by the fans.

At first, the cool air felt immensely blissful, causing Jude to shiver in delight. However, as time wore on, those shivers of delight turned into just plain shivers. Teeth chattering, he glanced over at his girlfriend, whom had her arms crossed to give herself minimal warmth.

"Is it just me, or is it getting sinfully cold in here?" Max grumbled as if on cue, starting to tremble himself.

"I'm with ya, mate. Turn off the fans over there, would ya, Pru?"

She gladly obliged, reaching up and turning off the plethora of fans that surrounded her. The other three did the same. Max gave a grunt of dissatisfaction.

"It's still colder than a witch's tit…" His sister went into his bedroom, coming out with a couple of blankets and his bathrobe. She tossed out the blankets to her friends and Max's bathrobe to him. He wrapped himself up in it, enjoying the warmth the soft, navy blue material brought him.

Sadie emerged moments later, fanning herself and pulling her thick curls away from her sweaty neck. She looked at the bundled up tenants quizzically.

"You realize it's 104 outside, right?"

"Yeah," Prudence shrugged.

"And that it's probably warmer in here than it is outside?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And yet here you all are, wrapped up in blankets and bathrobes and shaking your asses off…are you messin' with smack or something?" she inquired dubiously.

"No," they all answered innocently.

She gave them one last puzzled stare before shaking her head and mumbling "I knew there something strange about you four…"

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**Again, sorry about the abrupt ending.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Please review.**


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